Memory Scars
April 2, 2019

You touch once
Forgetting
I’m the one who feels it forever

Grace
April 2, 2019

The world has not been gentle with you
And you’ve rarely received an apology for it
Because it just tells you that you’re the one
Who needs to change
You’re the one
Who’s too sensitive
You’re the one
Who’s in the wrong
No wonder you hurt so much

“‘My life is monotonous. I hunt chickens; people hunt me. All chickens are just alike, and all men are just alike. So I’m rather bored. But if you tame me, my life will be filled with sunshine. I’ll know the sound of footsteps that will be different from all the rest. Other footsteps send me back underground. Yours will call me out of my burrow like music. And then, look! You see the wheat fields over there? I don’t eat bread. For me wheat is of no use whatsoever. Wheat fields say nothing to me. Which is sad. But you have hair the color of gold. So it will be wonderful, once you’ve tamed me! The wheat, which is golden, will remind me of you. And I’ll love the sound of the wind in the wheat…’ The fox fell silent and stared at the little prince for a long while. ‘Please…tame me!’ he said.”

-Antoine De Saint-Exupéry, “The Little Prince”

Epidemic

The saddest thing about starving a heart
Is unlike a body, it never dies.
It aches.
Cries out.
Shrivels.
Fades.
Until all that’s left is a living skeleton.
Faint beating a desperate proof of the life still within – a gruesome reminder of the things in life
Worse than death itself.

Sleepless pt. II

The plain, blue sky begins to reveal
Its hidden colors as
A wash of rainbow paints itself in the horizon
The sun slowly bows to meet
His audience before making
A grand exit for the evening.
Light fades to dark.
It is night.

In the small pasture, it is time to sleep
And slowly,
The sheep make their way to the pen
As I call

One -the head sheep hops over the fence,
His giant bell sounding.
Clang.
Two -another elderly sheep makes his way here,
Bouncing in to find the best resting spot.
Three, Four – a mother ewe and her baby come
The mother gently nudges the lamb under the fence
Before nimbly jumping over herself.
Five – an eager young ram quickly charges toward the fence to jump over for his first time
He trips over slightly and stumbles on his landing
Embarrassed, he quickly makes his way to bed to nurse his pride and bruised ankles
Six – the dainty young ewe, the bell of the ball elegantly trip-trops her way by
And I open the gate for her to enter
Smiling at her youthful vanity.
Seven, Eight, all the way through Twenty – here comes the young ones with their headmaster in the lead.
They all hop over the lower bar of the fence, unable to challenge the taller one until they grow bigger and stronger.

And on and on, from all different directions, my sheep return to pass the night, some energetic and others tired, some by themselves and others in pairs or larger groups.
Some white, some black, and some speckled.
Some do flips as they jump over the fence and I applaud for them,
While I comfort others less acrobatic, who barely trip over.
Big sheep, small sheep, chubby sheep, skinny sheep, all sheep,
Until even the last adventurer with the collie nipping at his hooves comes to the pen.

The baaing slowly ends as the sheep drift off to sleep,
Leaving only their shepherd to count the stars in the sky.

Sleepless pt I

The songbirds have long since sung their final song
The pigeons’ cooing slowly faded as they retire to their nests
Even the ravens, bandits of the dark, have stolen away in silence.
Leaving the night owl to accompany me
In the sleepless unknown of the eve.

Tick Tock Tick Tock
Tick, Tock,
Tick.

Silence –

Time stops on this endless night
And my life flashes before me.

The past. The present. The future.
My mind wanders

I dive deep into the darkest depths of sorrow
I emerge at the surface, reveling in the obstacles fought and overcome,
along with it the life lessons learned.

I take flight in great joy in recollection of my fondest memories.
Of those happiest moments of friends,
new experiences,
times lived to the fullest.

Only to be grounded again in the mires of regret
for the words wrongly said or not spoken at all.
For the people lost and roads which never should have been traversed.

When at last my thoughts are all exhausted
And the end seems near –

Tock.
Tick, Tock.
Tick Tock Tick Tock

Time begins again.
I hear the morning calls of the birds welcoming the coming of dawn.

Having finished the work I set out to do
At long last I close my eyes,
Settling into a deep sleep to catch up with the rest of the world.

Winged creatures, rest in peace
For I have kept watch over the night.

Wrinkles

Wrinkles big
Wrinkles small

Wrinkles fat
Wrinkles skinny

Wrinkles on my head
Wrinkles on my toes

Wrinkles in common places
Wrinkles you would’ve never known

Ugly wrinkles
Cute wrinkles
And even pretty ones

Wrinkles from age
And wrinkles from birth

Wrinkles on my nose from smells taken in
Wrinkles on my fingers from a hard day’s work
Wrinkles on my eyes from squinting – in the sun and in the dark
Wrinkles on my mouth from the smiles and the frowns

Wrinkles so wrinkly –
Give them all to me
As proof of a life well-lived.

Unrequited

Like Midas, his hand is gold

Insignificant objects at his touch

Turn to precious treasures

Yet it’s only a matter of time before

This blessing is found to be a curse disguised

As golden moments become

But memories that haunt

 

soliloquy & dialogue

no one is for me

I am for you.

no one is for me

I am for you.

i know you are for me, but right now

i don’t care and i feel

like no one is for me

not even You

I know.

Even so, know this –

I am for you.

 

anger

fathers who hurt,
fathers who neglect,
fathers who leave messes for their children to clean up,
fathers who only teach their sons to become,

fathers who hurt,
fathers who neglect,
fathers who leave messes for their children to clean up,
fathers who only teach their sons to become,

fathers who hurt,
fathers who neglect,
fathers who leave messes for their children to clean up,
fathers who only teach their sons to become,

fathers who hurt,
fathers who neglect,
fathers who leave messes for me to clean up,
fathers who only teach me to become,

one who hurts,
one who neglects,
one who leaves messes for others to clean up.
Father, teach me to become,

one who heals,
one who comforts,
one who loves,
so that we can end this cycle of sin and death.