We were a team brought together by J & D’s love for Jesus and love for us, and I think that was reflected in how beautifully we came together. I always feel so nervous when I’m around lots of people I’m not as familiar with, and especially so when there are big age differences, and yet knowing that God’s brought us together empowered these supernatural bonds in our midst in this time.  

I remember telling all the ladies on the team at the airport about my new relationship with A. It was a relationship that hadn’t been much welcomed by people making me really insecure at this time. I was so blessed by the encouragement and joy all of these dear sisters felt on my behalf for my happiness.

Exploring this lovely hill that opens up to view of the vast horizon during our first day and for our first sunset

An important part of the program for residents involved regular work rhythms to rebuild these individuals’ sense of what a normal, loving family is like in their routines. I loved being in the kitchen, cooking and preparing for the nourishment of others based on the meal plan set for that week. 

Coming to His Mansion, I actually wasn’t super excited because I expected God would push me to learn lessons through deep conversations and big leaps of faith that I felt too exhausted, too worn out for. How wonderful to know that Abba knew exactly how I felt, and said, I wanted you to come here and rest! So rest I did, in the company of this sweet friendly kitten named Sparkle Brownie who came by to say hi every day.

And also met her shy brother whose name was probably Twinkle Toes.

Rest also meant playing on this lovely swing. Abba, how did you know this was my favorite?

I had insisted to A that I wanted to be present with the people I was with and would not be contacting him during my 3 week time out of town. I was so thankful that M told me I was being too intense and should be allowed to give priority and time to A even if we were apart. Which I knew to be right because it gave me such a sense of relief to be able to talk to someone I missed so much. Cue evenings spent sitting on the toilet seat texting and enjoying an hour catching up about the day together.

We got to go for a tour of the storehouses and it was so awesome to see the labor of their hands in all of the homemade sauces, pickled veggies, frozen veggies, and even the center for producing maple syrup in the winter!

I remember dreading meal times the first few days because meal times meant sitting with strangers and not knowing if there would be conversation or what to talk about. As the days passed and God gave me space to rest and not push myself to do anything beyond my limits, that gave peace to engage more with the people at His Mansion and feel so much more comfortable. Talk about love being the foundation that empowers transformation.

We were assigned to the barn for our prayer walk, and you can only imagine my sheer joy when we walked to the end and this Scottish long haired cow came up to me to touch noses! It was such a beautiful moment of connection with the huge, gentle beast.

It’s so amazing to go to the East Coast because of the American history that is so rich and alive in these parts in a way that we don’t have in California. We got to visit the local cemetery belonging to the original owners of this land back in the 1700’s and see this tombstone honoring a veteran of the Revolutionary War!

One of the biggest reasons I had decided to come to His Mansion was to support M, who was ending his decade long tenure serving in this ministry. M is someone who was so integral to my growth, teaching me to embrace my feelings and encouraging me to not only practice my faith, but teach others what I was learning – to me that was the epitome of discipleship even though we had only met each other a handful of times in the last few years. As I came on this trip, I realized a sudden awkwardness as I engaged with him in conversation and I didn’t understand why I felt that way. On the last night of the trip, His Mansion hosted a farewell dinner for him, during which there was a chance for people to share. I remember feeling unqualified, but really feeling God prompting me to speak up, and so even though I missed my first cue, God gave me a second chance to speak up and share M’s impact on my life. The next morning, as we debriefed, M spoke up and thanked me for the opportunity to see the fruit of what he was doing in the people’s lives he was investing in. At that point, I realized that the awkwardness had come from my not feeling worthy to give him affirmation because I saw him as someone with higher status than myself. The opportunity to share his part in my life was also a chance for me to be healed of my feeling unworthy of speaking up with vulnerability based on my position or abilities. Thank you, Jesus for that healing moment, and thank you, M.

Ahaha, D is so hilarious. Had so much fun spending the last evening helping  him fix some old cars and using my hands to work with machinery and tools.

Bye Sparkle Brownie~